Medical Quotes, Quotations, Sayings and Remarks



Medical Quotes and Sayings

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  • All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men. Isaac Asimov
  • When a man goes through six years training to be a doctor he will never be the same. He knows too much. Enid Bagnold
  • People are so afraid of authority figures and doctors are authority figures. Martha Beck
  • Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it. Erma Bombeck
  • Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck
  • Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals. Napoleon Bonaparte
  • I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. James H. Boren
  • I'm by no means condemning prescription medicine for mental health. I've seen it save a lot of people's lives. Zach Braff
  • A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct. Samuel Butler
  • I was always shocked when I went to the doctor's office and they did my X-ray and didn't find that I had eight more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green. Nicolas Cage
  • Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the shell. Cass Canfield
  • Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. Anton Chekhov
  • Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other. Anton Chekhov
  • Honestly, being a doctor could make you more close minded than regular people. Alex Chiu
  • I regret to this day that I never went to college. I feel I should have been a doctor. Ty Cobb
  • It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. Norman Cousins
  • When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. Rodney Dangerfield
  • As a physician, I know many doctors want to utilize new technology, but they find the cost prohibitive. Nathan Deal
  • The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing. Dizzy Dean
  • The best doctor is the one you run to and can't find. Denis Diderot
  • Flying back from New York, the flight attendant said 'God, I wished you were here yesterday, we had a stroke on the plane. I said, if I have a stroke on a plane, I hope the pretend doctor isn't the one on the plane. I want a real doctor. Anthony Edwards
  • Medical liability reform is not a Republican or Democrat issue or even a doctor versus lawyer issue. It is a patient issue. John Ensign
  • In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. Martin H. Fischer
  • I've got to go. That's one of the penalties of being a doctor. I never seem to finish a conversation. Robert M. Fresco
  • America has the best doctors, the best nurses, the best hospitals, the best medical technology, the best medical breakthrough medicines in the world. There is absolutely no reason we should not have in this country the best health care in the world. Bill Frist
  • The physician's highest calling, his only calling, is to make sick people healthy - to heal, as it is termed. Samuel Hahnemann
  • In the name of Hypocrites, doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival. Edward Everett Hale
  • Whenever a doctor cannot do good, he must be kept from doing harm. Hippocrates
  • Modern medicine is a negation of health. It isn't organized to serve human health, but only itself, as an institution. It makes more people sick than it heals. Ivan Illich
  • One has a greater sense of degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience. Alice James
  • Doctors coin money when they do procedures but family medicine doesn't have any procedures. David Jones
  • As a medical doctor, it is my duty to evaluate the situation with as much data as I can gather and as much expertise as I have and as much experience as I have to determine whether or not the wish of the patient is medically justified. Jack Kevorkian
  • You can die of the cure before you die of the illness. Michael Landon
  • I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who? Jay London
  • A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Groucho Marx
  • I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. Groucho Marx
  • My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. Walter Matthau
  • If you look at the human condition today, not everyone is well fed, has access to good medical care, or the physical basics that provide for a healthy and a happy life. Ralph Merkle
  • A pregnant woman facing the most dire circumstances must be able to count on her doctor to do what is medically necessary to protect her from serious physical harm. Barbara Mikulski
  • Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. Ovid
  • Time is generally the best doctor. Ovid
  • They certainly give very strange names to diseases. Plato
  • Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey. Marcel Proust
  • Three-quarters of the sicknesses of intelligent people come from their intelligence. They need at least a doctor who can understand this sickness. Marcel Proust
  • I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down - at least he did until he dropped dead. Cesar Romero
  • Mammograms are really sort of a gift. You can either catch something early or count your lucky stars because nothing was discovered. Either way, you're ahead of the game. Charlotte Ross
  • I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. Rita Rudner
  • Growing up, my dolls were doctors and on secret missions. I had Barbie Goes Rambo. Zoe Saldana
  • The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind; the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. Arthur Schopenhauer
  • I'm strongly for a patient Bill of Rights. Decisions ought to be made by doctors, not accountants. Charles Schumer
  • Passion, you see, can be destroyed by a doctor. It cannot be created. Peter Shaffer
  • The art of medicine was to be properly learned only from its practice and its exercise. Thomas Sydenham
  • The great secret of doctors, known only to their wives, but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves; most things, in fact, are better in the morning. Lewis Thomas
  • You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten. Earl Wilson
  • When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. Henny Youngman

 

  

  

 

  

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