Jay London Quotes, Sayings, Remarks, Thoughts and Speeches
Jay London Quotes and Sayings
- 1
A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.
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- 2
A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.
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- 3
After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.
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- 4
At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?
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- 5
Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.
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- 6
Do you know it was a year a ago today?
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- 7
Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?
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- 8
I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.
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- 9
I model irregular clothing.
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- 10
I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.
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- 11
I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.
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- 12
I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.
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- 13
I saw a stationery store move.
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- 14
I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.
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- 15
I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.
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- 16
I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.
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- 17
I was born nine months premature.
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- 18
I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.
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- 19
I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.
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- 20
I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.
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- 21
I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.
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- 22
I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.
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- 23
I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?
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- 24
I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.
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- 25
I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.
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- 26
I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.
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- 27
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
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- 28
My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.
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- 29
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
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- 30
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.
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- 31
My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.
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- 32
My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.
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- 33
People read me but they don't subscribe.
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- 34
They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the adults.
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- 35
You know what burns me? Matches.
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